by Joel G. Robertson
Many people spend their lives searching for answers.
Answers to life’s deepest, most profound, and life-altering questions.
But many of those seeking answers aren’t aware of a knowledge source that many of us take for granted…
… comedy movies from the 1980s!
So, here are 10 of the valuable lessons I’ve personally learned from a lifetime of watching the good, the bad, and the so-bad-they’re-good comedies of the 1980s.
And just for fun, try and guess which movies I’m referring to below and leave your guesses in the comment section. But if you get stuck on any one of these, just click the blue, highlighted text for each entry and you’ll get the answer.
1. It’s a fact: All balls itch.
2. Whenever you’re creating a beautiful woman using jumper cables, a Commodore 64, and the computing power of NORAD, there are two essential elements you MUST have:
- Wear a bra on your head (it’s ceremonial) and
- ALWAYS remember to hook up the doll!
3. The top 3 things all prom queen’s hate:
- The sleazy feeling of vinyl against their skin.
- Almost losing their virtue to a human “blimp” and
- Being sold to a killer pimp.
4. If you ever find yourself hunted by an assassin because your former (now dead) partner got caught up in some kinda crazy Ponzi-financial-shenanigans theme involving mobsters, high school makes an excellent hide out.
5. Winning a boat race can solve any problem. (Two possible answers for this one!)
6. The street value of a snow-covered mountain top is definitely worth investigating.
7. Whenever a pompous, loud-mouthed relative you can’t stand shows up on YOUR vacation, just punch him in the nose and get it over with.
8. It might be a cliche, but the butler really did do it! (Oh, and French-maid outfits are smokin’ hot!)
9. If you ever switch bodies with your dad, it’s kinda creepy to make out with his girlfriend. P.S. Beware of Peyote tea.
10. If you need to get something done in a hurry, you need a montage! (I’ll let you fill in your favorite 80’s comedy montage here!)
So, what lessons have you learned from 80s comedy movies? Be sure to let us know in the comments!