Return of the Living Deep-Fried Cheese

June 15, 2012

Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)

by Jason D. Grooms

After a long hiatus, the Deep-Fried Cheese column is returning. Why? Quite frankly I’ve been watching a lot of great cheese lately and I feel like they’ve been lost in all of the Avengers/Prometheus/Hunger Games/blah blah blah chatter that has dominated the movie scene this year.  Where is the hype for Piranhaconda or Arachnoquake? And what about recent classic “versus” films like Dinocroc vs. Supergator or Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus? It’s a cinematic travesty I tell you!

And so, to prevent my fellow cinephiles from being completely consumed by films with a so called “budget” and “A-list” actors I’m shocking Deep-Fried Cheese back to life.  I can no longer stand by and watch movies with “choreography” and “acting” and “effects” take the spotlight away from a wholly underappreciated genre of films.

Razortooth (2012)

It’s a genetically mutated piranha that grows from 6 inches to 30 feet in one day and can fly through the air to crush buildings along the riverside or a 12-foot-long swamp eel that climbs through trees and across land to sever people cleanly in half with a single bite.

These aren’t movies that will touch your soul or change your life (although a few might cause spastic colon or itchy-twitchy bladder.)  Instead, these are movies that just plain entertain you, pure and simple. Movies that make you laugh and give you something talk about or even laugh at around the proverbial water cooler.

For me it started with a love for the original Godzilla (Gojira)movies. They were so ridiculous, so

Gojira (1954)

unreal, that I loved to love them.  I knew that was a guy in a rubber suit stomping Matchbox cars with firecrackers taped to them, but none of that swayed my affections.

Maybe it’s my love for an extreme underdog – the fact that so many people make fun of these movies or hate them.  Maybe it’s just my teenage antiestablishment attitude that draws me to a movie full of 8-foot-tall rabbits terrorizing innocent produce trucks.  Maybe it’s experiencing stories, themes, or effects so ludicrous that I have to admire the sheer guts it takes to produce and direct.  Then again, maybe they just entertain me.

Whatever the case, I can promise you that I’ll continue to adore these movies and do all that I

Eegah (1962)

can to help spread the word of their cheesy brilliance any chance I can.  Over the next few months here are a few of the titles I plan on covering – a mix of both old and new.

Before you read the reviews, go to your local video vendor (or bargain $3 movie bin) and watch them for yourselves.  If you have a favorite that isn’t on the list, leave a comment and let me know.


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